Going to church entails many things: worship, praise, fellowship and Sunday school! Yes Sunday school the hour where there is always the "Do Gooder" the "Dudley Do Right" if you will. The guy who has to be on patrol to oversee the snacks. Of course they always try to intimidate by throwing that clichéd passive/aggressive question "Can I help you with something?!" Always the kind of question that lets you know that they know that their intention is not to be helpful! Then there is the fanatic who just makes you shiver all over! Something just does not add up. In real life we don't get "do overs!" So in our world here we will do just that! Saying the very thing we so cleverly would have said the first time-if in fact we knew it would happen in the first place!
Goober: "Can I help you with something?!"
Anyone with esteem: "Are you in charge of this area for this hour given by the authority of the pope, Billy Graham, Richard Simmons, Martha Stewart and the deaconate committee?"
Goober: "No!?"
Anyone with esteem: "Well, I am sure those that tithe will be pleased to know that all those Chex mix bags will be safely unmolested by malicious and nefarious malcontents that could take them far far away-maybe even hold them for ransom until they are paid in Mellow Yellow. Tell 'ya what I'll offer a win win! I will hand back this Twix Bar if you call a therapist right now and tell them about your esteem issues. If so I will throw myself on the mercy court of "Gooberville" and plead guilty as charged!"
Fanatic: ("Mission Week" {most always in February} any where Southern Protestant USA) "Son, welcome to Jaspers Jeepers Baptist missionary week and sanctification Service!"
Son, I gotta know-I wanna know DO 'YA FEEL CONVICTED TODAY!
Anyone with discernment: "No, I'm sorry I can't say I do!"
Fanatic: "NO?!"
Anyone with discernment: " But, then again I have always had good lawyers!"
JCB
