That's right reader! I posted this type of blog title to hook you in. I wanted it to sound slightly inflammatory and racists just to get some eyes. Now, that you are assured I'm not a neo Nazi or a white supremacist, let's proceed.
In the sixth grade a girl asked me to our Jr. high school spring dance. It was my first formal dance ever. I was excited, nervous and probably really goofy. She showed interest in me without me really speaking to her much. Want to know something cool? We'll I know you're saying probably not, but here goes anyway. Her mother had dated my father in high school. Here is what I'm getting at. That is not accidental. It seems scientific that who we are sexually attracted to is hard wired into us through our genetics. I can't prove it, yet I have witnessed it through personal testimony so many times in my life. Now sure, some of what we seek in a mate is learned behavior. These days that's the problem. Cues from superficial society about what is acceptable and unacceptable. Yet, I cannot believe it is not mostly natural. My mom always discussed intelligence as 'Nature vs. Nurture'. As a teacher, she was always a big believer in a person's success being attributed to their genes. The older I get the more I believe her. Our DNA controls so many more things in our lives we could ever consider.
Each time I mistakenly and regretfully get on a dating app, (they are a lesson in aggravation) or log on to Facebook I open my inbox to messages from Hispanic women. This works well for me because I like them. I like their passion and charisma. I like their honesty in emotion. I like their olive complexion, raven hair and coffee colored eyes. Instead of 'JENNIFER' I get a fantastic opportunity to meet someone of East or Indian Asian descent. On the flip side of that, if I send out a hello to women of Northern European descent who are 'Christian,' church attending and conservative types, I tend to get ignored or a message, I SURE AS HELL HATE READING! This also tends to happen when I court people off line in everyday life. Try as hard as I might, I just can't get women who are of Northern European descent, educated and come from more well to do Christian families interested in dating me. I may get one a time or two yet it just does not come easy. Several of my Caucasian, guy friends don't seem to have this problem.
Like many southern men I was the usual slub in that I saw myself marrying a girl with blue eyes and blond hair and named Jennifer. There was a time I dated some of that and those types of girls found me attractive. Back about a decade ago that changed as did my taste. I tell this wretched, disinteresting story to tell you, reader - this:
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE AN EASIER TIME IN FINDING ROMANCE RIGHT FOR YOU?
Ride the wave of genetics when it comes to what types of ethnic groups, races, personal physical features etc. tend to give you positive regard in romance compared to the ones who don't. My squinty 'bed room' eyes (I believe come from the trace amounts of North African DNA I harbor) tend to attract more ethnic minorities than WASP types. Consider a historical pattern of physically what people look like in regards to liking or disliking what you look like. Move toward those types of people who have found you sexually attractive in the past. Ignore and move away from those who have not. I have an advanced degree in counseling psychology. I don't have one in sociology. But, I am confident there is something to my theory here. Either way, what's the harm in trying it out? You may be on path to finding the best person for you. Besides, who can say no to a fun science project from time to time?
Happy Early Valentines
JCB
1/11 2021
