It was exactly one month ago to this date, October 12th, that I got into a scuffle over mask protocol with an anti masker. If you've read my last two posts you knew that already. Since that time I officially pressed charges after considering a civil suit. He pressed baseless charges against me for harassment, that led to him striking me physically. I can say I grew from the experience tremendously. Yet, I paid a price emotionally in doing it the right way. I suffered light but acute anxiety from digestive issues, to hives, to heart palpitations. I knew I did not technically commit a crime, yet court rooms are much like doctor's offices. They are sometimes full of bad surprises of information that alter your life, waiting on the other side of a scheduled time slot. They freak me the hell OUT! Another challenge presented itself in the fact that the municipality where the incident took place does not have a good relationship with me. I, like so many others, have openly been critical of police and office staff misconduct in years prior. Besides, when I went to press charges the day after the melee the cop who took my report and their court clerk attempted to discourage me from pressing charges. The cop even stated I should have been in jail along with the assaulting party. This type of thing would not happen in more progressive communities. It told me they had some type of anti personal stake against me or some pro stake for the defendant. I would find out later, partly why. So, I knew there'd be potential 'monkey business' on court day. But, I knew I earned the right to defend myself, defend civil society from a trouble maker. I knew cowardice in dropping charges was not an option. I knew by keeping my cool and letting him attack me first my discipline had earned me peace of mind I was not getting into serious trouble. The emotional pain I had to endure of the unknown was just something I'd have to manage. To make matters more tense the judge presiding over the case was literally, my next door neighbor. As in 'she lived directly across the street from me' type of neighbor. As in 'she could see me washing dishes through my kitchen window' type of neighbor.
October was like all even months, a dry one for me alcohol wise. For health and spiritual reasons I abstain from drinks 6 months a year. Boy, I felt I could've used some last month too. I filled the days until my court appearance with copious amounts of cold water therapy, masturbation, deep breathing/meditation and CBD based products. I refer to my non alcoholic relaxation program as the "Four Troughs!" Synergized and done back to back they can bring a euphoric relaxation mechanism to brain chemistry busting up the bad effects, chemically of anxiety.
Back in grad school there was a cutting edge technique being taught to us counselor education students in the early 2000's. It was called 'cinetherapy' The gist of it is that you show a client dealing with a specific problem in life a movie where a character in that movie faces the same challenge they are facing and overcomes it or manages it well. Then you discuss it with them after the internalized role play. It is extremely validating, powerful and even effective. I personally love it and see it as my top two modes of psycho therapy on myself and when I counsel others. For whatever reason the day before I went to court, Celine Dion's Theme song from Titanic was playing in my head. So, knowing I needed some emotional tutoring I quickly adopted Jack Dawson, Leonardo DiCaprio's character from the movie. Like me he had the cards stacked against him, but he believed in his mission of valor, adventure and goodness. He believed in his affection for something good in his love interest. Opposition only made him more resolute in his guile and charm. In the days leading up to my judicial responsibility/challenge, I kept pondering which movie character prototype would I need to play in my mind to over come the anxiety as I met the reality of the moment. I started out as Daniel La Russo and even Johnny Lawrence from the Karate Kid as I ran across that movie the weekend prior. But, feeling those where too aggressive I finally set on Jack Dawson. A funny thing happened when I sat down in the court room. I saw my adversary, the defendant. I got this calming sensation that I was not in any real legal trouble. I even went up to the judge, my neighbor, and openly proclaimed my innocence, when she called us to classify with a plea. I was the only one in the room out of 20 people who did that. It subjected me to a future trial. It also made my opposition crack under the presser. Moments later my lawyer pulled me aside and revealed an amazing fact. He told me the defendant was a nervous wreck and had been one for the past few weeks. He was 'wigging out!' He went on to tell me that the defendant was applying to join the Navy and that he was terrified a conviction would disqualify him from doing so. I bet this could have been one of the reasons I was discouraged from pressing charges. He told me I had a good case against him, but that the coming weeks would be messy. My attorney told me the defendant's lawyer was begging us to drop the charges. Being emotionally exhausted myself, but cool as a fox , I patted my lawyer on the should and said something I'll never forget. "I've put this young man through enough, I made my point. I think he's learned his lesson. Let's proceed with dropping all charges." I remember doing it with the slyest smile anyone human could ever muster. At that moment I knew in my mind I had accomplished everything I'd set out to do. To take the jerk on an emotional roller coaster only to leave 'em high and dry with the terror of an unknown legal fate. The whole time in the court room I was composed, relaxed and confident in my body language, even as I felt I wanted to crack up a little. All that time I stared channeling Danny Ocean as he somehow came to mind in the storm of it all. I knew I'd won and that there was not much more of a reason to put myself through further emotional anguish and exhaustion.
So, in the end I got convicted of nothing, pleaded innocent in front of my opponent and an entire courtroom, emotionally manipulated a bully, legally for a month causing him to roll over and plead for mercy. For the past year I'd been praying for Christ to give me a more forgiving heart. I knew He'd do it. But, by giving me the opportunity to do it. Like it or not, this was that moment. As I left the charging community's municipal building melting back out into my scheduled work day I realized I never got to play the role of Jack Dawson. It was fate's plan for me to come off sly like Danny Ocean from Ocean's 11, 12 & 13. It was more satisfying than I could've ever imagined. Speaking of 'cinetherapy,' the next time you meet one of life's pains or challenges, your imagination will enlighten your path. It all started with me keeping my cool against an aggressor on a hot October Monday afternoon in a grocery store parking lot. It led to me handling the situation like a mature adult and not getting into some of the legal trouble I had gotten into regarding similar instances in my twenties. It ended with me walking out of a courtroom triumphantly feeling like one of George Clooney's most beloved characters, Danny Ocean. Now, Danny is one of mine as well.
JCB
11/12/2020
