Go north outta the ‘City’
Up to the hill flats
See the factories
Billow carbon outta black soot stack
I never knew a place
Was consigned to be blood - in family
Go north outta Birmingham
Realize your past is present
Go south to home
Outta the frigid
Just to realize you roamed from it.
Piece about my brother getting a job at a new company that required his first assignment to travel and work on week days in upstate NY in the fall of 2015. Interesting enough we found out a year later part of my father’s father’s side of the family partly originated in Syracuse and met up in the Midwest with the other half coming from places like Maryland, Virginia, Ohio, NC and Kentucky. Funny how a place is in your DNA so severely that it literally, by chance, forces you to return as it did Taylor.
Friday, January 11, 2019
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Emasculation Nation "How People Have Fallen For The "Vicarious" Lifestyle
As I write this I realize my title to this piece has probably been used a number of times. Why? Because it rhymes and has a certain jingle. But, none the less, I cannot think of a more fitting one. Celebrity worship is nothing new. Countries like Britain, Mexico and India have had tabloids and tabloid culture for years. But, due to the internet, it has never been more prolific. Minding one's business while trying to check for the scores of your favorite sports team, your twitter feed or the stock market now a days, it is impossible not to be bombarded with news you never wanted to look at concerning some movie, t.v. or other pop culture personality getting pregnant, engaged, married, divorced or being abducted by an alien. Yes, news that Jennifer Aniston has gone through all of these life circumstances has cycled through news feeds until the reader wishes they were illiterate. Of course the only people who like these types of stories over substance are close to it. And don't forget about the dissipative and idiotic click bait, chum box articles trying to get your attention while you are reading something else. You know? Those articles that list prices and photos of the wealthiest sports stars. Or even more of a waste of brain cells - those lists of the best looking super model or actress girlfriends of said athletes. Those articles which are not articles at all but just drivel and drool of a low status guy with a third grade mind. The one who has such low self-esteem he has to live vicariously through people he has not met in person.
But, how did we get this way as a society? What is the psychology, or better yet, pathology behind such waste? To answer the question, unfortunately, humanity has always been this way. At least at the advent of the Industrial Age and news reports. God created people to worship Him. In other words, people were made to believe in something. If they don't believe in God or some higher power then they worship something in a vacuum. Unfortunately, if they have low self-esteem it is almost always another person. Now, I know what you are thinking? Wait a minute, John, I am looking at your Twitter feed or your Facebook account and see a healthy list of people from sports or pop culture. You would be absolutely correct! But, although, I have fun following individuals of note I do so under two hard rules concerning my perspective of them:
(1) Although some are talented, work hard for what they get and bring mass joy to people by displaying their gifts, through entertainment I do not worship them. I NEVER WILL. I do not see them as more important than myself or anyone else. To me they are PEOPLE who have chosen a certain modem to express themselves as have the rest of us.
(2) If you notice carefully I follow noted people mostly because I view them as fantastic people away from the spot light who I love to encourage and see a certain tangible quality in who they are. In other words if I met them in everyday life I would still admire and enjoy what they offered as an individual. They give back to the world in some wonderful way and it encourages me to a better person for knowing them. Or they have something in common with me (the relatability factor) They are connected to me culturally in some way. For example, they may represent a region of the country, like my home town or state that I represent as well. I feel a certain bond of common experience with them.
I wrote a column for a sports blog 3 years ago critical of men who worship athletes and their physically attractive girlfriends or wives, and of that mindset. Those men who live vicariously through sports teams or other "alpha males." Those same grown men who wear a sports jersey with another man's last name on it which is not theirs. Those guys who jam up their twitter feeds with supermodels they follow obsessively who would not give 'em the time of day, who happen to be dating or married to an athlete from their favorite team. The article pleaded with readers to become their own hero in their spheres of influence and to pick out a great women in their own live's and becoming her hero. But, I found much backlash from writing such an article instead and found that several of my readers wanted to just be lazy and pathetic. They wanted to rather, criticize the article. I soon realized they would rather sit on the sidelines of life and live through others who could make a statement they felt they could not make themselves. They felt threatened by anyone who could develop their own self-esteem through their own accomplishments. Like an accidental science project, it showed that misery truly does love company. I have even been critical of chum box articles that glorified the topic I'm discussing in comment sections. Of course it brought me a negative comment directed at me via Facebook last February. Like a fool I engaged the moron who left the comment toward me for about an hour on the social site until I had to block them. Lesson learned! You argue with a fool and pretty soon you become one yourself, as the biblical proverb states. After the experience I realized just how entrenched was this culture of "living vicariously through others." I witnessed just how invasive it is in everyday life. Ironically enough, the name of the publication I wrote for was called "Sidelines" it was a sports and lifestyle online publication.
But, the vicarious lifestyle is not just making manhood sick. Women are just as guilty of this phenomenon. E-entertainment, Entertainment Tonight, tabloid gossip magazines from superstore magazine racks are counting on this. They want the mom or single woman to grab a candy bar and a magazine out of desperation or depression because she is dissatisfied with her own marriage, relationship. life in general or suffering from some loss. Their own lives can look mundane compared to Meghan Markle's.
I write this article to say that it is never too late to leave this culture and mindset behind. To move toward becoming your own hero or superstar. To be adored by someone like your sibling, children, nephews, nieces or even spouse. To quit living in someone else's shadow. Sure there will always be those lowlifes who feel threatened by all of us who don't subscribe to the "vicarious" lifestyle. They will fight tooth and nail because misery loves company. Let it go. Make a 2019 resolution to quit reading websites that even have click bait or chum box articles attached to them. Reject the tabloids online or in line at the grocery store. Turn the remote away from reality t.v. about false romance or entertainment t.v. news programs. Read and watch more publications and programs about history, world events, art, genetics or anything meaningful. The "vicarious" lifestyle is anything but that. Those who profit off of it, propagate it or passively absorb it will never be such to society.
Happy New Year,
J.C.B.
But, how did we get this way as a society? What is the psychology, or better yet, pathology behind such waste? To answer the question, unfortunately, humanity has always been this way. At least at the advent of the Industrial Age and news reports. God created people to worship Him. In other words, people were made to believe in something. If they don't believe in God or some higher power then they worship something in a vacuum. Unfortunately, if they have low self-esteem it is almost always another person. Now, I know what you are thinking? Wait a minute, John, I am looking at your Twitter feed or your Facebook account and see a healthy list of people from sports or pop culture. You would be absolutely correct! But, although, I have fun following individuals of note I do so under two hard rules concerning my perspective of them:
(1) Although some are talented, work hard for what they get and bring mass joy to people by displaying their gifts, through entertainment I do not worship them. I NEVER WILL. I do not see them as more important than myself or anyone else. To me they are PEOPLE who have chosen a certain modem to express themselves as have the rest of us.
(2) If you notice carefully I follow noted people mostly because I view them as fantastic people away from the spot light who I love to encourage and see a certain tangible quality in who they are. In other words if I met them in everyday life I would still admire and enjoy what they offered as an individual. They give back to the world in some wonderful way and it encourages me to a better person for knowing them. Or they have something in common with me (the relatability factor) They are connected to me culturally in some way. For example, they may represent a region of the country, like my home town or state that I represent as well. I feel a certain bond of common experience with them.
I wrote a column for a sports blog 3 years ago critical of men who worship athletes and their physically attractive girlfriends or wives, and of that mindset. Those men who live vicariously through sports teams or other "alpha males." Those same grown men who wear a sports jersey with another man's last name on it which is not theirs. Those guys who jam up their twitter feeds with supermodels they follow obsessively who would not give 'em the time of day, who happen to be dating or married to an athlete from their favorite team. The article pleaded with readers to become their own hero in their spheres of influence and to pick out a great women in their own live's and becoming her hero. But, I found much backlash from writing such an article instead and found that several of my readers wanted to just be lazy and pathetic. They wanted to rather, criticize the article. I soon realized they would rather sit on the sidelines of life and live through others who could make a statement they felt they could not make themselves. They felt threatened by anyone who could develop their own self-esteem through their own accomplishments. Like an accidental science project, it showed that misery truly does love company. I have even been critical of chum box articles that glorified the topic I'm discussing in comment sections. Of course it brought me a negative comment directed at me via Facebook last February. Like a fool I engaged the moron who left the comment toward me for about an hour on the social site until I had to block them. Lesson learned! You argue with a fool and pretty soon you become one yourself, as the biblical proverb states. After the experience I realized just how entrenched was this culture of "living vicariously through others." I witnessed just how invasive it is in everyday life. Ironically enough, the name of the publication I wrote for was called "Sidelines" it was a sports and lifestyle online publication.
But, the vicarious lifestyle is not just making manhood sick. Women are just as guilty of this phenomenon. E-entertainment, Entertainment Tonight, tabloid gossip magazines from superstore magazine racks are counting on this. They want the mom or single woman to grab a candy bar and a magazine out of desperation or depression because she is dissatisfied with her own marriage, relationship. life in general or suffering from some loss. Their own lives can look mundane compared to Meghan Markle's.
I write this article to say that it is never too late to leave this culture and mindset behind. To move toward becoming your own hero or superstar. To be adored by someone like your sibling, children, nephews, nieces or even spouse. To quit living in someone else's shadow. Sure there will always be those lowlifes who feel threatened by all of us who don't subscribe to the "vicarious" lifestyle. They will fight tooth and nail because misery loves company. Let it go. Make a 2019 resolution to quit reading websites that even have click bait or chum box articles attached to them. Reject the tabloids online or in line at the grocery store. Turn the remote away from reality t.v. about false romance or entertainment t.v. news programs. Read and watch more publications and programs about history, world events, art, genetics or anything meaningful. The "vicarious" lifestyle is anything but that. Those who profit off of it, propagate it or passively absorb it will never be such to society.
Happy New Year,
J.C.B.
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