Ngorongoro Refuge (June 2019)

Descending deep steeped heated toward burnt
Circle we go as dehydrated urine after cho flushed commode

I left my soul right by the mounds of black dusted sod
Never finding separation odd

Caravan ascends  as the dusk begins 
An aberrant realm

As an amusement park for demons
Until mornings angels punish the damned. 

My physicality’s here in safety’s net
Imaginations left behind, to be tormented by fear never realized 

By fear too toasted in fervent ovens of hell
A memory too strange to be able to tell 

Piece about visiting wildlife refuge in Tanzania 🇹🇿 while on mission. The park was contained in the lowest levels of a hollowed out volcano. We had to descend down into it. Imagine a 26 mile wide perfectly circular grass prairie bounded by a perfectly circular wall of mountain. It’s as if you are going down into an amusement park accept there is no manager. A place so strange and desolate it feels miles away from God even knowing it, if ever possible. Most all animals were timid and drowsy in the mid day heat. But what demons came out at night to turn the place into a blood ground, until morning’s light could make the mighty weak in the heat and light could protect the timid by giving them better notice. During dusk, as the caravan of utility vehicles transported us up and out of the volcano floor I looked back and the park felt like a strange office building shutting down for the day. Hours of driving the circumference of the park left everyone weary. An experience so strange I’m not able to recall every detail because my mind had never handled it. Fear of the supernatural darkness of a place tends to do that. Africa itself, so strange and dangerous  tends to do that.

J.C.B

June 28, 2019

‘Aemulus’ 👀

Washed low into how your azure iris burns my loins

The shrill October morn-bellows a soul’s rapture 
enveloped by coffee colored warmth 

Oh, but one is quick, direct, fleeting-urgent 

The second is not second, encapsulating
lingering-abiding stamina staying

Oh, that something colored as water should burn out wick- quick

Oh, that a hue akin to red, should have such mystery as a sea

For I’m torn ‘tween two tinges, purveying a satisfactory tension 

A man haunted by two hues, who have COLORED the total man I’m to be.

This is a work of mystery for my avid readers. For months you have read pieces on travel, people, schools and things that are jabber to some. But, this right here is my gift to you. This is the riddle to my sexual personality. This is what will keep you coming back and reading this to determine which haunting siren of the soul you are to me if you are female. If you are male you may be able to relate.

The first thing that attracts me to a woman is her eyes. A blue eyed woman affects me differently than a brown eyed woman. My inner soul and my body physically reacts differently to each type. None, is better than the other. So, whichever eye color you have ladies, don’t get an ego about it. Both types do wondrous things to my body and mind, it just does it differently. Growing up and even as an adult I have waffled back and forth between having a greater taste for brown eyed and blue eyed woman, at different times due to complex emotional, social and sexual dynamics. Both types have left me heart broken, both types have made me feel I could transport to a stage of pre eternity. The eyes of a woman concerning the ‘blue & brown’ are the ying and yang to my innermost sexual seed. The blue & the brown have wrestled with each other for years. Which one will win out for a lifetime?  Secret reader, my gift to you is to leave you guessing which one it is. I don’t know yet myself! For ‘Aemulus’ means rival in Latin. It means blue eyes vs. brown eyes in my soul and body which yearns.

J.C.B.

June 2, 2019