By reading the title of this post you may be thinking I can do that! I can be appreciative of all of those from my past who loved me for me, IF I CHOOSE TO GO THERE! Well, you can’t chose because life will take you to a place, at least once, while you are alive; to where you will have to do so. Rejoining a matchmaking firm in upscale Atlanta has caused me to do just that. I don’t have movie star looks but I’ve had my fair share of a healthy variety of women from all walks of life find me appealing. Even if they think I’m ‘uglier than a bowling shoe’ some are gracious enough to let me ‘worm’ (what you women call it) charm (what we men call it) my way into their hearts. With five women down and about six to go before my contract runs out, I have hit a savage dry spell I have not seen before. Blind dating is irreconcilable unless you get real lucky. My matchmaking firm is very classy in that they don’t match based solely off of physical appearance. That is exactly how a progressive firm should be. So, when matched, I never see the woman’s photo prior to date night.
Whether it is a spiritual matter (i e God having other plans for me outside of the firm) my failure in finding the right match has been epic. It does feel spiritual and scary as it seems there is some cosmic blockage wanting me to fail. My matchmaker confirmed my suspicion through an email recently. Her feed back: “ She said fun date, real gentleman but no chemistry.” My follow up has been a damage control of “ I did not see initial chemistry either but am willing to be open minded. And this is truth as this has been my dating policy for about five years now. I just know of countless stories of people who did not feel the ‘bells & whistles’ at first but matured into something great. And thus my problem. I’m open minded, them not so much! Although, it doesn’t hurt so much when someone you have just met/don’t have much attraction for yourself does not want to give it a shot; it still can be a ‘core’ shaker! Times like these can make you doubt yourself. Which is an invalidating and terrible place to be. That is why I’m writing today! Whether it is career success, romantic success or social success most all of us hit periods in our lives when it seems the world is outta’ tune. We just can’t quite connect with people or goals as we once had. Listen, carefully as I will give you the key to beating this ‘ Sargasso Sea’ (stagnant current less part of Atlantic Ocean) of life. It is real simple but easily overlooked.......................................
Think back to all those times you succeeded at a career or job goal!
Think back to all those men or women who were sexually attracted to or wanted to love you!
*Make a list of all of these and recite them until you feel better. Those times and people are an absolute blessing you need to hang your hat on. God put ‘em there to help with the failures you are bound to encounter due to being courageous in the future. Or due to putting yourself out there only to find someone doesn’t ‘get you’ or ‘doesn’t want to try to get you’ when it comes to love.
It is amazing how God allows the cosmic power of the universe to encourage you right when you need it most. For every lost opportunity or feeling of failure there is that person or next accomplishment validating you. There is that beautiful woman living in London sending you a Link’d In connection request (had this happen to me last year) or that beauty on Facebook or down at the grocery store who initiates conversation with you. All this after you felt like you not would be able to pull yourself out of the doldrums of doubt. Everyone goes through seasons of doubt. Just look at the fruitful times and stay the course.
JCB
Saturday, March 16, 2019
Monday, March 11, 2019
"A Sliding Glass of Sea To The Mint Continent" An Essay On South America
Stand on the beach at Destin, FL. and you are situated to look due south. Sure, you will miss Cuba to the left and Mexico to the right, eventually landing in Central America. But, as a little boy, at our family vacation condo in Destin, I would pretend the Gulf of Mexico was an exotic window to the wonderment of South America. Just like if you stand on the beach anywhere from Miami up to the Virginia/North Carolina state line, the Atlantic is a shiny window to Africa. Like wise for California, Oregon and Washington the Pacific is a window to the ancient and mysterious nations of Asia. Being a water enthusiasts I love the world's seas and oceans for so many reasons. The fact they let you use your imagination is one of their highest attributes.
As a little boy, I would come home and open up the old World Book Encyclopedias and read about Africa, Asia and South America. Being all boy and living in Alabama, I liked 'critters.' I would seek snakes, spiders and all those crawly things boys like to put on little girls, as a way to say I like you. I would like reading about them even more. I still do like reading about them and seeking them out. I just don't put em' on people any now. I would read about those other continent's exotic wildlife. I would read about their deadly snakes with wondrous infatuation. Africa had the Mambas, Asia had the King Cobra while South America had the Fer - de- lance a massive pit viper, which even the mongoose has only a 50/50 chance of defeating. The mongoose is an Asian rodent know to be able to kill the Cobra by striking fast at its neck. And just like with American cities and waterways I developed anthropological man crushes on foreign continents. First it was Africa, then Asia but over the past 12 years it has been South America.
Driving home through the sandy bottomed pine belts of south Alabama as a kid, to reach home at the north end of the state, the burning sun would caress my skin through the car window. I would reflect back on the Gulf's warm emerald and cobalt blue liquid tranquility and how it echoed the mysteries and dangers of the Amazon. While on the school bus for class field trips, while driving through the oak forests of north Alabama; I would pretend I was in Paraguay. My younger brother, when he got into about 4th grade, turned black headed and always had copper colored skin in the summer. Looking left I would pretend he was a native Indian tribesman captured by me. What an amazing season of life in being a child. You could take your mind anywhere during the most mundane of circumstances.
In 2014 I joined 23 & Me. As was no surprise I was 99% just ole' white boy of European descent. But, it was that minute, barely noticeable result that brought that little boy out in me again. Tucked away in my DNA profile was some North African and Sub Saharan African, just a drop as it was less the 1%. DNA profiles shift on 23 & Me as more testing is done on their clients. In 2016 a new test result came back as Native American, including the South American type. I was entranced. But, just late last year it was updated and had been replaced by Spain/Portugal. Spain is charming but it didn't feel as provocative as Brazil. I felt like one feels when they break up with someone. Your something for two years and then it is no longer there.
The phenomenal thing about "geographical" DNA is that it manifests itself differently in siblings. For example, my younger brother's results, may have shown South Asian, American Indian and nothing from Africa, had he taken the test himself. I was the only one in my family to do so. In other words one brother or sister may represent an entire continent or nations the other will not. Talk about personal pride. Mine has consistently shown that trace amount of African aside from north and west Europe. During the last 5 years it has been the only consistent result as Native American has come and gone to be replaced by Iberia, which may be replaced by who knows what. In the southern, summer sun my skin always turns a yellow beige color, just like someone from Algeria or Egypt's might. My brother's turns a reddish-copper color like an Amazonian tribesman's might. Anyone who has ancestors from South American countries or from any Caribbean Island nation or state are partly descended from South American native tribes. I'm jealous if you are.
In three short months I will be in Africa. A medical mission will usher me to Tanzania. It will be an amazing life altering experience. But, while there; a warm humid breeze will blow in from the west out of South America and warm that infatuation of that little boy who looked out over the Gulf in the 'panhandle's' torrid, summer sun. My little brother may visit Destin this summer on vacation. He will stand due south overlooking the Gulf as a grown man. He will look through that emerald/cobalt window as I did so many years before and may be realizing his minute DNA origin. It will be a gift I'll have to give up to him. As it is apparent, the emerald/mint continent is not mine to give.
J.C.B.
3/11/2019
As a little boy, I would come home and open up the old World Book Encyclopedias and read about Africa, Asia and South America. Being all boy and living in Alabama, I liked 'critters.' I would seek snakes, spiders and all those crawly things boys like to put on little girls, as a way to say I like you. I would like reading about them even more. I still do like reading about them and seeking them out. I just don't put em' on people any now. I would read about those other continent's exotic wildlife. I would read about their deadly snakes with wondrous infatuation. Africa had the Mambas, Asia had the King Cobra while South America had the Fer - de- lance a massive pit viper, which even the mongoose has only a 50/50 chance of defeating. The mongoose is an Asian rodent know to be able to kill the Cobra by striking fast at its neck. And just like with American cities and waterways I developed anthropological man crushes on foreign continents. First it was Africa, then Asia but over the past 12 years it has been South America.
Driving home through the sandy bottomed pine belts of south Alabama as a kid, to reach home at the north end of the state, the burning sun would caress my skin through the car window. I would reflect back on the Gulf's warm emerald and cobalt blue liquid tranquility and how it echoed the mysteries and dangers of the Amazon. While on the school bus for class field trips, while driving through the oak forests of north Alabama; I would pretend I was in Paraguay. My younger brother, when he got into about 4th grade, turned black headed and always had copper colored skin in the summer. Looking left I would pretend he was a native Indian tribesman captured by me. What an amazing season of life in being a child. You could take your mind anywhere during the most mundane of circumstances.
In 2014 I joined 23 & Me. As was no surprise I was 99% just ole' white boy of European descent. But, it was that minute, barely noticeable result that brought that little boy out in me again. Tucked away in my DNA profile was some North African and Sub Saharan African, just a drop as it was less the 1%. DNA profiles shift on 23 & Me as more testing is done on their clients. In 2016 a new test result came back as Native American, including the South American type. I was entranced. But, just late last year it was updated and had been replaced by Spain/Portugal. Spain is charming but it didn't feel as provocative as Brazil. I felt like one feels when they break up with someone. Your something for two years and then it is no longer there.
The phenomenal thing about "geographical" DNA is that it manifests itself differently in siblings. For example, my younger brother's results, may have shown South Asian, American Indian and nothing from Africa, had he taken the test himself. I was the only one in my family to do so. In other words one brother or sister may represent an entire continent or nations the other will not. Talk about personal pride. Mine has consistently shown that trace amount of African aside from north and west Europe. During the last 5 years it has been the only consistent result as Native American has come and gone to be replaced by Iberia, which may be replaced by who knows what. In the southern, summer sun my skin always turns a yellow beige color, just like someone from Algeria or Egypt's might. My brother's turns a reddish-copper color like an Amazonian tribesman's might. Anyone who has ancestors from South American countries or from any Caribbean Island nation or state are partly descended from South American native tribes. I'm jealous if you are.
In three short months I will be in Africa. A medical mission will usher me to Tanzania. It will be an amazing life altering experience. But, while there; a warm humid breeze will blow in from the west out of South America and warm that infatuation of that little boy who looked out over the Gulf in the 'panhandle's' torrid, summer sun. My little brother may visit Destin this summer on vacation. He will stand due south overlooking the Gulf as a grown man. He will look through that emerald/cobalt window as I did so many years before and may be realizing his minute DNA origin. It will be a gift I'll have to give up to him. As it is apparent, the emerald/mint continent is not mine to give.
J.C.B.
3/11/2019
Saturday, March 2, 2019
“Noon Tide”
Driving past that building
Prompting fever of you
That song played tune
Memory seems more subdued
It’s the natural course of passion
To begin
Ebbing into
A twilight end
But morning comes with sun’s eastern fire
Molted to mend
Our hearts together-to eternity, deeper than passion
Commitment, mutual sacrifice have no end....,
As sun sets in western sky-only to rise again
Remember when you started dating or began a marriage to someone and that new passion and luster had worn off. You took a break in your relationship either technically or in secret while you were still together, feeling as if something strange were happening. But, while doing so you realized you were not losing the person, you had not stopped loving them. Your feelings just matured into real love. I can remember times in my life when this happened and it was an amazing time of growth, introspection. Natural elements such as the ocean tide and the sun represent stability. Just like healthy, true love, just when you think the ocean tide or the sun is weak you can always count on it to come back strong, as is it was right on schedule for the next day. It took me about five minutes to write this. The reason-I just felt it in the pit of my soul. It vomited out so easily. It had been in my heart for weeks as I have began to see in myself growth in becoming the type of man who can experience this in my life again.
J.C.B.
March 2, 2019
Prompting fever of you
That song played tune
Memory seems more subdued
It’s the natural course of passion
To begin
Ebbing into
A twilight end
But morning comes with sun’s eastern fire
Molted to mend
Our hearts together-to eternity, deeper than passion
Commitment, mutual sacrifice have no end....,
As sun sets in western sky-only to rise again
Remember when you started dating or began a marriage to someone and that new passion and luster had worn off. You took a break in your relationship either technically or in secret while you were still together, feeling as if something strange were happening. But, while doing so you realized you were not losing the person, you had not stopped loving them. Your feelings just matured into real love. I can remember times in my life when this happened and it was an amazing time of growth, introspection. Natural elements such as the ocean tide and the sun represent stability. Just like healthy, true love, just when you think the ocean tide or the sun is weak you can always count on it to come back strong, as is it was right on schedule for the next day. It took me about five minutes to write this. The reason-I just felt it in the pit of my soul. It vomited out so easily. It had been in my heart for weeks as I have began to see in myself growth in becoming the type of man who can experience this in my life again.
J.C.B.
March 2, 2019
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