A decade ago I read about some women here in Alabama who solicit high school aged coeds for training in etiquette when enduring sorority rush. At first I thought what a brilliant idea to make money. And believe me it is. But at the same time I thought-what a ridiculous invention of douchbaggery! The idea being PRACTICE- RUSH- BID AND GAIN MEMBERSHIP! As we all know fraternities are different! In honor of rush season, which if you are a freshmen, is usually all year, I-Tim Curt (Owner of "X-out" Life Coaching)- hereby nominate myself as the official rush coach for potential pledges. Those of you outside of the South grab a bag of popcorn and amuse yourself at our peculiar dynamic of manners, chivalry, "properness," tradition and ceremony. Yes, we get it that sororities and fraternities are in every section of the country. BUT only in the South are fraternities and sororities in the hearts of all of us.
SORORITY RUSH
(1) Have handy pair of flip flops
to get rid of high heels as you
move from house to house
(2) Always keep your purse stocked
with the essentials: oil, blotting
papers, baby wipes, mirrors,
make up, deo and sanitizing gel
(3) Ask questions
(4) Get plenty of rest and vitamin C
(5) Be honest with yourself
(6) Do meet everyone you can
(7) Do be yourself and show off
your personal style
(8) Don't be afraid to eat or drink
anything that's offered
(9) Don't talk about boys or partying
(10) Don't hold grudges or blame
anyone if you don't make it
(11) Accessorize well but modestly
jewelry
(12) Wear best fitting but appropriate
attire with bright colors
(13) Hold tea cups with right hand and
never sip while conversing
(14) Stand until asked to be seated
FRATERNITY RUSH
(1) Hell, just walk around barefooted like a slob, especially when you are taken into a room that is dark and described as "full of glass" after all - it's just corn chips
(2) Always keep your pocket stocked with mini shots-a good alibi-condoms-and as many fake I.D.s as possible
(3) Make statements of grandeur concerning your personal life
(4) You will get plenty of rest-just make sure you SLEEP INSIDE!
(5) Lie, because more than likely she will know your girlfriend!
(6) Do meet every lawyer you can!
(7) Do be yourself by dropping your pants and displaying who is the alpha male!
(8) Don't EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING OFFERED!
(10) WE'RE GUYS WE DON'T CARE!
(11) CLOTHING IS OPTIONAL!
(12) Vomit profusely and you will be wearing bright colors
(13) Place empty bottles on the head of a passed out international student
(14) If the room is spinning-fall down onto the nearest couch, flower bed lawn or floor!
* MOST IMPORTANTLY- HAVE A GREAT AND INJURY FILLED YEAR!
Sincerely,
Tim Curt
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