By reading the title of this post you may be thinking I can do that! I can be appreciative of all of those from my past who loved me for me, IF I CHOOSE TO GO THERE! Well, you can’t chose because life will take you to a place, at least once, while you are alive; to where you will have to do so. Rejoining a matchmaking firm in upscale Atlanta has caused me to do just that. I don’t have movie star looks but I’ve had my fair share of a healthy variety of women from all walks of life find me appealing. Even if they think I’m ‘uglier than a bowling shoe’ some are gracious enough to let me ‘worm’ (what you women call it) charm (what we men call it) my way into their hearts. With five women down and about six to go before my contract runs out, I have hit a savage dry spell I have not seen before. Blind dating is irreconcilable unless you get real lucky. My matchmaking firm is very classy in that they don’t match based solely off of physical appearance. That is exactly how a progressive firm should be. So, when matched, I never see the woman’s photo prior to date night.
Whether it is a spiritual matter (i e God having other plans for me outside of the firm) my failure in finding the right match has been epic. It does feel spiritual and scary as it seems there is some cosmic blockage wanting me to fail. My matchmaker confirmed my suspicion through an email recently. Her feed back: “ She said fun date, real gentleman but no chemistry.” My follow up has been a damage control of “ I did not see initial chemistry either but am willing to be open minded. And this is truth as this has been my dating policy for about five years now. I just know of countless stories of people who did not feel the ‘bells & whistles’ at first but matured into something great. And thus my problem. I’m open minded, them not so much! Although, it doesn’t hurt so much when someone you have just met/don’t have much attraction for yourself does not want to give it a shot; it still can be a ‘core’ shaker! Times like these can make you doubt yourself. Which is an invalidating and terrible place to be. That is why I’m writing today! Whether it is career success, romantic success or social success most all of us hit periods in our lives when it seems the world is outta’ tune. We just can’t quite connect with people or goals as we once had. Listen, carefully as I will give you the key to beating this ‘ Sargasso Sea’ (stagnant current less part of Atlantic Ocean) of life. It is real simple but easily overlooked.......................................
Think back to all those times you succeeded at a career or job goal!
Think back to all those men or women who were sexually attracted to or wanted to love you!
*Make a list of all of these and recite them until you feel better. Those times and people are an absolute blessing you need to hang your hat on. God put ‘em there to help with the failures you are bound to encounter due to being courageous in the future. Or due to putting yourself out there only to find someone doesn’t ‘get you’ or ‘doesn’t want to try to get you’ when it comes to love.
It is amazing how God allows the cosmic power of the universe to encourage you right when you need it most. For every lost opportunity or feeling of failure there is that person or next accomplishment validating you. There is that beautiful woman living in London sending you a Link’d In connection request (had this happen to me last year) or that beauty on Facebook or down at the grocery store who initiates conversation with you. All this after you felt like you not would be able to pull yourself out of the doldrums of doubt. Everyone goes through seasons of doubt. Just look at the fruitful times and stay the course.
JCB
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